I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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