That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
