Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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