I wish i was in the wii world.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
