Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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