how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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