ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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