Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
