I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
