I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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