tell your sister to shave her snatch
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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