just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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