Duck Duck Cougar?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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