I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
