He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
