the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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