All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
