redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize