Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize