so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
How external is "for external use only"?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
