I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize