But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
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I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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