you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
YAS. BRING CRAB.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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