I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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