check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
