I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
its liver damage thursday
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
