I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
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By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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