So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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