Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
