Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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