cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
