At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
