So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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