The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
