Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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