I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
