Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
