Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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