1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
