my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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