C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
