I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
