hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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