Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I smell stomach acid.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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