Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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