Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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