I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
