Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
