i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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