we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They took my balls.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
