I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
