He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
