I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
they're like a gay fantastic four
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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