If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
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