Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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