i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
