no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
