Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
