I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
