She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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