my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
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