He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I forgot wine drunk hurts
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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