if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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