Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
