mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize