this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she smelled like a LAN party
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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