never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
