The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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